I want a child too – fair’s fair

“It’s not fair; I want one. Well you have one so why can’t I? It’s not fair. Fair’s fair so I’m telling.”

How often have we heard the statement above or words similar? Often. But the important question about it is: what age person usually speaks thus? Keep this in mind as you read this post because the adults campaigning for fairness in the situations below are adults but whom, perhaps, are really young children at mind.


Who is a mum? What does a dad look like? Science loves simplicity. So how complex do we need to make relationships and the “right” to beget† children?  Ethics likes relationships to respect personal boundaries to keep relations in good stead with nature while working as co-creators with nature, but how and when is that boundary crossed? For example, cross certain boundaries and sexually transmitted diseases quickly reminded us of our limited place in the greater scheme of things of nature.

In the UK, one prominent female personality will soon be mother and aunt at once to a child and her brother, who is the sperm-donor to his sister’s partner, will become dad and uncle all at once in an act alarmingly smacking of incest.

In another case presented in the British media recently, a gay 24 year-old had always wanted a child. Wonderful, I always wanted a house with a pool and room for a pony! So, in a disturbing modern version of the Oedipus tragedy, the young man’s mother is going to give birth to her son’s baby becoming mother and grandmother in one instant. The young man will be father and brother all at once. He’s the sperm donor and she is the vessel – ironically, the one word feminists hate.

Two things need to be said at the outset. First, we don’t have an immediate, automatic right to a child and secondly – they are not a commodity, an appendage like the latest Louis Vuitton handbag. Secondly, we are so obsessed with “rights” (whatever that means) that adults’ rights now trump children’s rights which are non-existent in modern liberal debates where everyone is, no, not equal, but the same.

Some further reading on the matter can be found below:
Tying the knot before first baby is a key ingredient for marriage success

Daily Telegraph article: Children Raised by Married parents Better Behaved

British Government research: Gay marriage will destabilise married life, sociologist warns

New Research: Kids Do Best with Mom and Dad

Beget probably isn’t the best word. Yet, what is the best word for becoming a parent in this manner? Look at the synonyms for beget in the Oxford Dictionary and none of them fit either as this deviated parenting is too mechanical and is too detached from the reality of becoming a parent: (link)

Synonyms of beget in English:
1 ‘he married again and begat Alexander’
father, sire, engender, generate, spawn, create, give life to, bring into being, bring into the world, have; procreate, reproduce, breed

Further Reading
• A reply in defence of Dolce and Gabbanna: We Are ‘Synthetic Children’ And We Agree With Dolce & Gabbana in The Federalist.
• Electra Complex: Click here for Wikipedia entry
• Oedipus Complex: Click here for Wikipedia entry

I had just finished writing this post and picked up the Daily Telegraph to read on the front page about Elton John’s (who has 2 children by a surrogate mother) “Mother of all Rows.” Here’s the crux of it:

The gay fashion designers Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana have said in an interview in the Italian magazine Panorama. They have previously spoken out against same-sex marriage.

We oppose gay adoptions. The only family is the traditional one.
No chemical offsprings and rented uterus: life has a natural flow, there are things that should not be changed.

Dolce added that procreation

…Must be an act of love… You are born to a mother and a father – or at least that’s how it should be.

I call children of chemistry, synthetic children. Rented uterus, semen chosen from a catalogue…

Quoting them:

The family is not a fad. In it there is a supernatural sense of belonging.

Elton John has selfishly, tyranically and childishly called for a boycott of their products. In a response to Elton John, Gabbana said,

It is simply arrogant not to tolerate those who think like him! poor thing!”

We live in a democratic country and respect the ideas of others…
A child needs a mother and a father. I could not imagine my childhood without my mother. I also believe that it is cruel to take a baby away from its mother.

Free speech? Democracy? Forget it! Now you see how impossible it is to debate anything not über liberal and cool.

Rights? What right has someone to damage another man’s business because they have a difference of opinion? It could only happen in cyberspace…

I love irony but how about this? “Elton John’s mother reveals how she has not spoken to her son in seven years.” The right to love a child of his own, which Elton wanted, is not afforded to his own mother! Read the article here

Brendan O’Neill, journalist at Spiked-Online has a commentary here

Picture credits: WikimediaCommons

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